Royal Rides

This morning I heard to my surprise that King Abdullah II of Jordan had found relief from the tormenting questions of Arab-Israeli relations by riding a bike to Harper’s Ferry and on to Gettysburg. According to NPR’s Michele Kelemen, who interviewed him after his meeting with the President, he is an enthusiastic adventure rider.

And then I thought, Why is this surprising? And I recalled that a reviewer of my last book wrote, in the Conde-Naste Traveler, “Why does it surprise me, and it does, that a biker could be a great prose stylist?”

Well, shame on me for quoting such a self-serving example (and had he never read Pillars of Wisdom?) But seriously, why is it so surprising to find bikers can also inhabit worlds that command respect and admiration?

If I had heard that King Abdullah was seeking relief on a yacht, or decompressing by flying his plane into the stratosphere I wouldn’t have flicked an eyelid. Those are the things kings do. Albert, Prince of Monaco, throws javelins, does judo and fencing, and a host of other sports. All perfectly respectable. In his youth, it seems, the King of Siam was fond of firing off pistols and Sten guns in his palace gardens. Ho-hum.
The King of Sweden loves fast cars, the Emir of Quatar is an Olympic medalist and a fearless diver, King Harald of Norway has won medals sailing for his country.

The King of Swaziland’s athleticism is restricted mainly to his bedroom because he is obliged to satisfy a great many wives – 23 at last count, but he is still young. His father had 70.

All these activities are more or less what you’d expect. Golf, polo, ballooning, rock climbing, skiing, dueling, multiplying, all are predictable diversions for the royalty and their imitators. But biking…?
Actually I discovered that King Juan Carlos of Spain is rumoured to ride incognito, but that only strengthens my case. For many people there is something vaguely questionable about bikes and bikers, ranging from mild distaste to outright paranoia.

I have been personally familiar with this enigma for decades. I have a book called Jupiter’s Travels which has been selling in America for 28 years, and selling very well. It makes more than enough money to keep me in wine.
If it had sold better I would have made a lot more money and I would now be very unhappy at having lost a large part of it on the stock market, so I have nothing to complain about.

But it does interest me to know who buys my book. As you know, it’s about riding a bike around the world, but if you’ve read it you will also know that its not terribly much about bikes.

It’s an adventure story, and I am morally certain that if the picture on the cover had shown a man climbing a mountain or following a dog sled, all kinds of people would have read it.

The fact that it’s selling as well as ever must say something about the book, but the cover shows a bloke on a bike, and as a result it is only read by people who like bikes. This is mainly an American phenomenon, it seems, and I’m curious to know if anyone has any ideas about this.

Somebody is going to write in and tell me to stop whining.
Somebody always does. I’m not. I’m quite content, and I won’t be intimidated. There’s something weird about this bike thing and I’d like to know what it is.

Surely it can’t still be the Hell’s Angels? They must all be on their mobility scooters by now. What a priceless image that is!

You may have noticed that my web site went backwards recently, from March to November. This was because I have discovered the secret of reverse aging . . .
Well no, actually, it’s because I cocked up at a crucial moment when my ISP was migrating. As we all know, migration is a serious problem in the world today and it hit me right on the cusp. So I need to recap on a few things. . . . .